I have seen a lot of things of late that I would say are discouraging to most people, Christians especially. Things that are self-servant, hateful, personal ladder climbing, degrading talk, speaking to people as though they are unvalued. When covid was over, and we came out of hiding and we started talking, something was really different. It was like you either were on one side or the other, divisiveness set in HARD, about even just day to day things. Its really appalling to me that we just allow turmoil to separate people, when I know people can be, and should be better. It's also baffling to me how some people call themselves Christians but they don't try to obey God. We all mess up, we all deserve death for our sins. It's not about you and me- it's about JESUS. None of us are good or right without GOD. Period. We have to teach others that God is the TRUTH and is RIGHT. And it's up to us to do His will, not ours.
And that's when I started thinking about this season of life that I am in. Almost to empty nest, and I am seeing my daughters grow up, and look for godly men to start a family with. And then I started thinking about my Caleb, he would be 22. The age I married his daddy. If he had been healthy, he would be seeking a wife too I'd imagine, he was a handsome little man, so I'm sure that it wouldn't be too hard for him to find a good match for him.
I think the thing I've seen the most, in my marriage, in my life, in my daughters search for good young men, that there is one answer to finding the perfect person: none of us are. A dear friend said "Marriage is not for happiness, marriage is for holiness" - and that couldn't be more true. We are not going to be happy all the time, but we can be in a relationship with someone who HELPS us to be closer to God, challenges us when we are wrong, helps us when we aren't strong, and leads us in the Word for the answers when things get tough.
The truth is that if our HOPE lies in GOD, then we are seeking to serve Him, worship Him, obey Him, and love Him. When it comes to who they marry, I want them to find someone who is going die in Christ. And that's what I would tell my son. The world, all lies. The truth is Christ. I would ask him to be the Ephesians 5 kind of husband - who would love her so much, that he would love her like Christ loved the church and "sanctify her, by the washing of the word...that she might be holy and without blemish". Wow. That is a job. That is being the SPIRITUAL leader of a home. That is taking God's word and delivering it in the tough times, in the joyous times, in the times of illness and times of prosperity and delivering it to each other to encourage, to be thankful, to be prayerful and to be grateful in all the seasons of life.
I would ask him to be that man for someone, to rise and pray in all of those times. To read the Word for answers and Truth. To obey God. To serve God together. You can have great jobs, and success, and not have happiness- because you're not looking for holiness. You can choose to be lazy, and allow apathy and the "appearance of happiness" be what drives you instead of living - you aren't looking for holiness there either. God's plan for holiness in the world was bringing us Christ to die, so we might obey and bring our husband/wife to obey and serve together in our home, raising our children to LOVE GOD and serve Him.
Caleb never had to make those choices, or worry with that part of life, but if he had, I would have soaked him in those words, so he could wash his future wife in them. Soak your children in the Word. Read it every day to them. Prepare them for life with the HOPE of Heaven.
